Staying Fit with Bernarr MacFadden

Everywhere you look these days, people are reaping the benefits of a revolution in vigorous exercise. We realize many of these people are chiropractors and massage therapists, but no matter. Countless magazines are devoted to providing the floppy public with tips on keeping fit and living longer – so why should we here at Snake Oil Sewing not take advantage of these trend seekers?  Our experts offer you modern, well-researched exercise routines designed to help you maintain a healthy, well-formed physique. Run and get your sweat suit and let’s begin! Before you know it, you may find yourself feeling like a whole new person.

(But don’t go nuts like this fellow. He fasted for over forty days to achieve his look.)

Today is the first day of Winter. As Bernarr Macfadden so astutely pointed out, “The man must indeed be lacking in warm red blood who does not feel the call of the great open air when winter spreads its beautiful white mantel over the earth and keen breezes sweep down from the north.” I suspect that many of you have yet to feel any keen breezes this year. Where I live, it’s supposed to get into the 80s today! But let’s stiffen ourselves and begin, anyway. Since Mr. Macfadden really seems to know what he’s talking about, we’ll turn to Volume II of his Encyclopedia of Physical Culture for our instruction. (All text shown here in bold type shall come directly from this groundbreaking study.) Now don’t worry that this happens to be the 1920 edition; there can’t have been that many breakthroughs.

Probably one of the most common faults among young enthusiasts in physical culture is the tendency to excess in exercise. (You know, I don’t know what possessed me to introduce this paragraph with such a silly statement. Please ignore it.) What we want to start out with is a good stretching routine. Let’s not dilly-dally with prissy little exercises that pass as real stretching and that any old hag can pull off. This isn’t a stretch; it’s flirting!

Now, let’s begin with The Sideways Lean Pose. I saw a lot of giraffes in Botswana do this, and they are certainly among the sleekest and skinniest of animals. Put your whole back into it! That’s what it’s for. No pain, no gain!

Continue back and forth until tired.

In discussing the weaknesses of this part of the body we continually come back to the baneful influence of the corset. We simply cannot escape the consideration of this iniquitous device, just as women who wear it cannot escape the inexorable physical dilapidation which it brings about….But how much more pleasing must it be to the woman of today to know that the figure she presents is truly her own, so that instead of the hypocrisy of displaying a purchased form [!], she may take pride in the consciousness that the admiration of others [i.e., men] comes in response to the charm of her own real self. Boy, you said a mouthful there, Mr. M!

Next up: Touch Your Toes. If Thoroughly Modern Millie, here, can do it then so can you. Go ahead. Just bend over and touch them. They’re not that far away, are they?

Okay, now that we’re all limbered up and ready to go, let’s try a bit of dancing! Youth, eternal youth, is the very cry of every normal woman – at least in her heart….Why, it even keeps the voice young.

Dancing has locked many a medicine chest. Now, you may say to me, “But I haven’t the natural grace and charm to be a dancer.” And if this were a picture of you, I’d have to admit you’re right:

But, please, dear friends: these dances are simple enough for anyone to work out alone. And if you happen to possess and outfit like this one, then I think we can all agree that you should work out alone.

 

That’s all for today, friends!  I don’t know about you, but I’m worn out just typing this thing. I can’t even get out of my chair. It’s time for one of Bernarr’s excellent baths, I think.

In our next physical culture installment, you’ll meet the real Mister Atlas and learn what it takes to win a cock fight.  And maybe some sewn garments will make an appearance.

Flea Market Tote Bag

How many times have I gone to IKEA and forgotten to bring my blue IKEA bag?  I get up to the register and have to buy yet another blue IKEA bag.  That's a very clever trick, IKEA Corporate, but that won't work anymore!  Behold the “Left Bank Granny Bag”,  which is pictured here on the cover of the book in which the pattern resides. 

The book says it was designed to carry the junk you pick up in flea markets, which is one activity I plan on using it for.  I think I found out about this book from someone’s blog.  I got my copy from Amazon, but my sister says they also have it at Barnes & Noble.  There’s a lot of good stuff in here but it really isn’t recommended for the beginning sewer. However, this particular bag was actually pretty easy. The book includes paper patterns or, as in the case with this bag, detailed diagrams are provided.  I made myself a paper pattern rather than doing something reckless like drawing it out on the fabric. Don’t do that!

 

The fabric is a (discontinued?) heavy cotton from IKEA and the lining is some nice blue, medium-weight cotton I got at JoAnn’s.  The book suggests lining it with cotton twill, but I’m glad I didn’t choose anything that heavy.  The stuff I used works just fine and I don’t see that the bag really needs that heavy a lining.  Surprisingly, this thing maintains its shape pretty well and is very easy to carry.  Don’t be fooled by its over-sized demeanor. It’s perfectly proportioned (unless you are a really tiny person).  I put a bunch of junk in it one day and it managed things just fine.

There is, however, a flaw in one of the diagrams.  You have to cut out two top edge bands and then fold them lengthwise.  But I suspect the measurement given is for the finished size when folded.  You can see that the upper band on my bag is too thin. As is typical, I didn’t even notice it while I was sewing.  Am I going to bother to unpick all those stitches and make a new band?  Ha! I laugh at that!

I really wanted this bag and envisioned an afternoon struggling with the heavy fabric and with me saying, “Boy, I’ll never make one of these again!”.  But, no! I do plan to make this again.  It was fun and easy.  You just have to find yourself the appropriate needle and take your time.  The only part that will slow you down are the pleats.  You have to adjust them yourself – there are no markings for them.

It calls for a zippered interior pocket.  I didn’t like the way they wanted me to put this thing in, so I made sort of a zippered patch pocket instead.  This bag’s instructions includes a matching drawstring bag, which I may make.  Who knows? I have a lot of that fabric left.

(See the orange zipper just peaking out, there?)

 

The only change I made, aside from the pocket, was to edge-stitch the bottom corners (are those technically corners?)  I think it adds a little definition to it.  You can just see what I mean off to the left, there.  See how the edge is a bit squarish?

And it’s machine-washable!  So, all-in-all: a success!

It's Time for a Soothing Bath

Now, winter is well upon us and for you folks in cold climes you're going to want to learn some novel ways to keep toasty warm until the ice in the harbor starts to break up.  Not to worry: Dr. Jones is here to assist.  Thanks to my acquisition of the 1937 edition of Macfadden's Encyclopedia of Physical Culture (Volume VI), I've learned there are many different types of healthful baths you can take.  Let's have a look, shall we?

(Be sure to click to enlarge each picture.)

The poor gentleman shown in Fig. 1 below is enduring a "Brand Bath" which means that bucket there has been filled with bone-chilling 50-degree water.  It’s for his own good, of course. He knows that!  The dirty trick with this bath is that the water -- 2 to 3 gallons of it -- must be poured very slowly over the victim/patient.  But you're smart: improvise and use 110-degree water instead!  I would advise you to find a more attractive water-bearer, though.

 Figure 1.

Now, if a tub isn't your thing, then enlist the aid of a rubber-slippered friend and a wet blanket to engage in a series of healthful dowsings whilst standing in a sturdy wooden bucket (as in Fig. 2).  The bucket's importance is unclear but I wouldn't take any chances by omitting it.  Please note the dramatic, film noir lighting.  You can achieve this at home with the aid of a photographer's spot lamp.

Figure 2.

Don't like all that water? An sunbath like the one if Fig. 3 might be more your style.  Since the sun leaves us early in winter, you may have to rely on an artificial sunbath, as illustrated below.  Don't attempt this without the goggles!  The aid of a friend isn't necessary, but why spoil his fun by excluding him?

 Figure 3.

 

That's all we have time for today.  Join me next time to learn all about proper hair and scalp care!

A Glimpse of Madness

Today’s horror show is a before-and-after of my sewing closet.  

 This is a bad scene, isn't it?  Let's see.  On the far right just outside the closet are piles of fabric and that white-ish thing is a sloper, sort of.  In the closet are a wooden stool with fabric on it, two IKEA bags filled with crap, pattern boxes on the top shelf, and fabric hanging on hangers.  To complete the look, I've left plenty of bits of pattern pieces and junk on the floor!

Those are boxes of thread, an old wooden set of drawers from when I was a baby (!), boxes of patterns (mostly old Vogues) and a pile of nicely-wrinkled interfacing.  That red stuff is some yet-to-be-pre-cleaned coat fabric.

And here's the after! 

I moved the old wooden set of drawers out in the open and put my mother's old Singer on top (not pictured, but off to the right).  Those drawers are badly organized but will eventually have thread, machine needles and who knows what else in them.  It’ll house things I don’t necessarily need to have during a project. 

I bought two wire racks at Lowe’s and was happy to find they were exactly the right size for the little platform table thing I built in there.  I have lots of space, but no organizing skills whatsoever.

What you can’t see in this picture is the dump that is the rest of my sewing room.  What can you do?